Unfortunate Reality & The Blessing

9:32 AM, Thanksgiving morning, awake and roll over & place my toes on my husband's leg...LOL. Like every holiday, my iPhone is filled with text messages and forwarded group pictures. We all get those right? Whether we like them or not. But, to my surprise there's one text in specific that made my skin crawl, like it always did... My son's biological "father", wishing us a "Happy Thanksgiving". At this point in our lives, we know when people contact you for their gain and simply for attention. I never hear, nor do I see of him because of the years of the run-around, I refuse to involve my son or myself in the emotional roller-coaster or games. It just isn't fair to him. Many times for the past 7 years, I've been cordial and cooperative with meeting up with him and allowing him to see Brycen whenever he was in town. I know that my most current events have surfaced to wherever he is, due to his multiple baby mothers, who love to keep up with what's going on in our lives. And that's fine. But, he can't possibly think that it's okay to just be so general and text me "Happy Thanksgiving", and we know he never calls or calls to inquire about his first-born son, nor has he put in the efforts of building trust between he and Brycen for these 7 years!? And let's not forget to acknowledge the fact that I am now married and in a union with a MAN. --who Takes care of Brycen and has a life with him and has built a bond --Something that he has never attempted to do. SMH. His actions never surprised me, but thinking of my child and all we've been through WITHOUT him, and knowing my child has questions, piecing things together and I cannot give him the answer, is what bothers me. Even with that feeling, I will never shut the door, for my baby's sake, because it it solely up to him if or when he wants to seek more info about this dude.

It's crazy how a lame ass "father" can be MIA and tell you to "lose my number" after you two spoke the last time, only for me to express Brycen's emotions to him. And you text annually? Some bullshit? My family, especially my father have always been here and there for us to make sure B never goes without, but when people see or hear that you're happy, here they come. Or when a MAN is raising their child as their own. I've seen it all before. I do know that it all comes back to bite you in the ass when you don't take care of your blessings and just lay low and be the coward that you've allowed yourself to be and that's exactly what is taking place with him now and has been for years.

While Brycen is excelling, his "father" is expelling himself further and further away from opportunity with the lack of compassion for his child and one day, he will have to face him --- or maybe not.

I know being a 'single mother' appears to be hard or it has it's stereotypes, but I have never considered them for myself because I know me and what I've always striven to accomplish. I come from a normal family, with it's crazy situations and I also come from a tree of very successful women, who some just so happened to be single mothers, but kept their self-respect and continued to work on themselves, while raising awesome children the best way they knew how. I'm still figuring out this thing called life and building as I do that. I also have learned never to take life too serious while doing so. ---"Happy Mommy, happy child!"

So I say this:

You beautiful women, who are single mothers or not, (who can relate to this article or not), we know what the bigger picture consists of. And if your child's father IS active in their lives, that is a beautiful thing when you both can co-parent and stay cordial throughout it all! Though, it shouldn't be hard and it isn't unheard of, unfortunately, our society has portrayed an ugly picture of that beautiful THING. You keep going! You keep trying because your child's life depends on it. And no matter how dark the "now" may seem, there is always potential there for a brighter path.

-With Love,

B. Ray Atkins

#beautiful #singlemother #baby #trill